Just a little taller
by it'ssamnotsammy
Summary: Remember in Darkside of the moon when we learned that Sam ran away when he was 13. This is my take on what might have happened to get him to run away and what might have transpired while he was gone for those three weeks. Just something that I got in my head and had to get out.
1. Chapter 1

**FLAGSTAFF**

It was another "typical" morning for Sam Winchester, if you can call training to fight the supernatural things of this world "typical". He has been up since the crack of dawn running laps, doing pushups, chin-ups and everything else that you could throw in there that could possibly make you sweat, under the scrutiny of his father. It is usually his brother watching him which is not so bad, but no…not today…his dad is home and it's a million times worse.

Dad nitpicks at everything Sam does and not in a constructive kind of way either, nothing is ever good enough. What makes it worse is that Dean is doing the same things he is and dad is giving him praise for it…Dean is always better than Sam. Even in school they give you an "A" for effort and Sam should know he gets straight "A's" and does dad ever acknowledge that? That's a big fat stinking "NO"! So suffice it to say, Sam is not a happy camper today.

"Pick up the pace, Sam. No slacking off!" dad yells at him. Does the guy not realize that Sam is doing the best he can for his size? Come on, Dean is 6 foot tall and filled out and has 4 years on him; Sam is short for his age and skinny, since losing the rest of his baby fat over the summer, no muscles that Sam has noticed anywhere.

Doesn't sweating make you lose weight not put it on in muscles? Sammy gives it his all…every time. He does it the best he can, but is that ever enough for the great John Winchester? Apparently not…give him a frigging break, already! "Come on, Sam! Are you going to let Dean lap you again?" dad says smirking. He is frigging smirking, enough already!

Sam stops dead in his tracks giving the old man a glare that should make him drop dead on the spot or at least burst into flames, if he's lucky. "No! I'm done! I'm not doing anymore!" Sam shouts at him, defiance dripping from every pore. "What was that, boy?" dad growls and starts towards him.

Sam stands his ground and keeps eye contact, "You heard me! I said I'm done!" Dean hearing the raised voices of his dad and little brother stops running and back tracks to them. Not another fight, he thinks, because it seems like that is all that they have done since Sam turned 13 in May. Can't Dean catch a frigging break?

This stuff is getting old fast! "Hey, what's—going on—you guys?" Dean sputters out of breath. They continue on like Dean is not even there, like two alphas getting ready to tear each other apart. "It seems your brother has had enough training for today, Dean." Dad says snidely. "So it's time to spar, is it Sam?" dad adds angrily. "Yeah, I guess so! I mean…if I'm going to be humiliated I might as well get it over with, huh?" Sam says through gritted teeth.

Dean is getting frustrated with both of them, so he offers up "Nobody is trying to humiliate you, Sammy. Why would you say something like that? You know this is supposed to help you get better at defending yourself and watching our backs on a hunt, it's just standard procedure."

"Standard procedure for whom, Dean, is there a hunters' handbook somewhere where it's written down?" Sam grumbles and carries on from there, "I'm tired of doing the exact same things you do and it never being good enough—let's face it—it's never going to be good enough for him! I'm tired of him treating me like I'm a second string! Why do you do that, dad?" Sam is now practically screaming. "Because of that attitude right there." dad callously states "Now follow me to the backyard so you can spar with your brother!" dad orders.

Sparring with Dean is a fiasco. He is so much bigger than Sam. "You snooze you lose, Sammy!" says Dean with just a little too much cockiness in his voice, easily pinning Sam down. "Thanks a lot, Dean!" a scowling Sam says. From Sam's point of view it is a "Damned if I do damned if I don't scenario and as if things couldn't get any worse, dad makes him do 50 more pushups for not paying attention.

"You are going to get in line, Mister. I will not tolerate such disrespect! You are going to have to start pulling your weight around here or you are just a waste of space. Why can't you be more like Dean? Even he is going to get tired of you before too long. He is almost an adult and he doesn't have time to sit around babying you." dad says to him.

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	2. Chapter 2

Dean can't believe his dad is using him to hurt his little brother like that! He always thought that Sam was being over dramatic about it, but he just heard it with his own ears. Then Sam speaks, "Oh yeah right dad, another mindless automaton to serve in your little army! No thanks!"

Is that really what Sammy thinks of him? Oh boy, now he's mad at both of them and he comes out verbally swinging, "STOP! BOTH OF YOU! I am not a pawn to be used in your fights! I don't want Sam to be like me…he can be so much more, dad. And Sam, what you said really hurt." Dean walks in between them. "Where are you going?" they both ask, "I can't be here right now", a hurt Dean responds.

Sam feels lower than low right now; he didn't mean to say what he said about Dean, he doesn't even know why he said it. It's just that he was angry and when he is angry his mouth doesn't always listen to his brain. He really wishes he was more like Dean: selfless, heroic, tall, nice looking, good with cars, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound (no wait! That's Superman!). But not when dad says it!

Sam goes to find Dean to apologize only to find that dad has beaten him to it. What's that dad is saying to him? "Dean, you have really been doing well lately and I've decided that I am going to give you the Impala. I got myself a truck. I'm proud of you son! Not a word to Sammy though, this can be our little secret." Dad says smiling. Dean is speechless.

Oh Sam gets it now, Dean can be disrespectful and talk back and get rewarded for it but Sam gets punished—dad's little whipping boy! Well, if that's the way they want it…they can both go to hell! (It is my mind and my mind can swear all it wants) Sam doesn't stick around to hear what Dean says to their father. Sam is making a hasty retreat back to the house with his head hung down…yes, Dean saw him out of the corner of his eye because it is Dean's job to always know where Sammy is and to take care of him.

"Dad, why would you say something like that? You knew he was standing there, didn't you?" "Yes, Dean I saw him!" dad replies with a sad look on his face. "Sam is different than you and he needs a different approach when it comes to training—he's sensitive and too caring that can get him killed! Don't you see, son? I have to toughen him up, if I want to keep him alive! I'm not doing this because I like seeing him hurt or suffering, but if it comes down to him hating me or getting killed on a hunt because I was too soft with him…then I will take hate every time!"

"But you're going to end up making him hate me, in the process, dad and I can't take care of Sammy if he hates me" Dean says dejectedly. "Please, don't make him hate me. He's the only part of mom I have left."

Sam is sitting on his bed reading when Dean comes into their shared room; Sam has already showered and is deliberately ignoring his big brother. "Sammy, you heard that didn't you?" Dean attempts, but Sam shuts him down "It's Sam and don't talk to me Dean!" "Come on, Sam—don't be that way. I'm the one who should be mad! You called me a robot!" Dean grouses.

"Well, sorry for that (Sam can't stay mad at Dean for long periods of time—it would kill him—Dean is still his hero)…you'd have to have a brain to be a robot…you'd be more like Frankenstein" Sam says getting a chuckle out of Dean and a smack to the back of the head for his trouble. "Ow Jerk!" "You deserved it Bitch and you know it!" Dean replies.

Later that night, dad tells them that he is leaving on a hunt. Dean wants to go with him, but he has to stay with Sam. Sam sees the hurt look pass over Dean's face (Dean is always torn between his need to back up his dad and to take care of Sam. Sam doesn't know this; he thinks it is because Dean wants to hunt. Dean does like hunting but not if it gets one of them hurt), so he tries to get his dad to let Dean go with him. "You can't stay by yourself, Sam. You haven't proven to me that I can trust you to do anything right" John bites out. Sam is taken aback by this, Sam is trust worthy—he has never lied to either of them—no they are the liars. Dad lied to Sam up until he was 9 about everything—Sam can't trust him, but he always thought he could trust Dean. (Not anymore)

Sam over hears Dean on the phone; he doesn't know who he is talking to, but the things he hears cause his heart to almost stop. Dean is telling someone that he missed out on another hunt because he had to "Stay with Sammy". "Sam's not trying hard enough" and "him and dad are always fighting"—Sam wishes Dean would just shut up. The kicker "Guess what? Dad gave me the Impala! Yeah, he said it was our little secret"—Sam would like to drop a house on his brother. Sam storms off before he hears anymore.

If he had stayed he would have heard what Dean said next. "Dad is a jerk; he thinks he is helping Sam by treating him like he is nothing. I tell you—I am this close to taking Sammy and coming your way. Thanks for listening to me; I just get so frustrated sometimes. Bye Bobby."

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	3. Chapter 3

Sam is stuffing things into his duffle as fast as he can. He can't be here one minute more—he is leaving. TO HELL WITH ALL OF IT! (Still Sam's mind, so pardon his French) He makes no noise as he slips out the window in their room making his way across the dark yard. He won't follow the road because if Dean comes looking—he'll be too easy to spot.

Sam is going to use the woods to his advantage—even though, he is spooked by woods—has been ever since they went on that werewolf hunt. He cautiously enters them and quickens his pace. He wasn't stupid either he took his knife when he left and a little money from Dean's wallet. (Not all of it, he didn't want Dean to starve or anything) Now he wonders where he will go—should have thought about that before you left, dumbass, he thinks to himself. Bobby's house in South Dakota? Nah, first place Dean would check. Pastor Jim's? Definitely not. Caleb? Oh, come on Sam—Caleb lives like you do; he doesn't have a permanent address! I guess I am on my own, he thinks.

During Sam's little monologue, Dean has hung up the phone and is calling for Sam to ask what the kid wants for supper. "Sammy—Sam—hey are you hungry? What do you want to eat?" Nothing just silence. Dean goes to look in their room because that is the last place he saw Sam. No Sam. He checks the bathroom, nada. You know that pit that you get in your stomach when you get separated from your child in a crowded store? Dean's feeling way right about now. He walks outside and calls for him again, "Sammy—Sammy—SAM!" his heart is beating about a mile a minute.

He has no way of looking for Sam, he thinks, until he remembers—the Impala! Dean runs to her and gets in, he doesn't even take the time to relish the moment, cranking her up and peeling out of the driveway. "Where are you, Sam?" he says out loud. Fear is seeping into him with every passing minute; what if something took Sam? What if…he stops that train of thought that will make him crazy if he keeps thinking like that. He is at least a mile away from their house now and no sign of Sam; he couldn't have got that far, could he? One thing for sure, when Dean finds him he is going to kill him!

Sam wishes now he had taken some food with him and some water—he's hungry. He's tired, too, bets he has walked about three or four miles since he left last night. Nothing looks familiar to him. Is he still in Arizona? Maybe he should stop and ask someone? There is a gas station up ahead, so he will head for it—get some water and maybe a pack of crackers. The following night was hard, but Sam got through it. He managed to keep himself warm and out of sight—regardless of what certain other people think, nothing came after him. Wonder if that would make dad proud? Probably not.

Dean is frantic now; he went back to the house and called everybody he could think of: Bobby, Jim and Caleb. Picking up the phone to dial his dad, Dean is apprehensive about telling him Sam is missing. 1—2—3 rings and dad answers, "Dean, what's going on? Is something wrong with Sam?" dad questions rapid fire. "Dad, Sam is missing. I looked for him all night. I called Bobby, Jim and Caleb; nobody's heard from him. Dad, I'm sorry" Dean blurts out. "How do you know he's missing and not just run off?" dad inquires. "Because Sammy wouldn't do that to me, dad" Dean states, "Unless you pushed him too hard this time" worries Dean.

"Didn't see him on the road?" dad asks. "No" Dean answers. "Well, that means he took to the woods—smart—that's what I would do" dad beams. "Sounds like you're proud of him, dad. Are you?" Dean questions. "Maybe" dad answers, "I'm headed back, son, we'll find him" Relief fills Dean, "See you soon, dad."

**SUPERNATURAL**

Sam had traveled (no Sam didn't walk that far—he hitched a ride with a family of four part of the way) farther than he thought, he was in Flagstaff, sitting on a bench and eating one of his crackers and drinking his water—he's been gone about three days now. A golden retriever walked up to him and nuzzled him with his nose, "Hey boy" Sam cooed at the dog, "Are you lost? You want a cracker?" Sam smiled at the dog as he took the proffered treat from his hand. Sam gets up intent on finding some place safe to sleep and the dog follows after him, "Guess Uncle Bobby was right, you feed em you can't get rid of em" Sam chuckles.

It didn't take long for Sam to name the dog probably about ten minutes, "Ah I got it! Bones, your name is Bones boy. Do you like that name?" Sam manages to get out in between barks only to be licked to death, giggling he says, "I guess you do. Wonder what Dean would say if he saw me now—gone two days, made good time, not dead yet and I have a DOG? I've always wanted a dog." Sam instantly depresses himself when he mentions Dean. The fact that Dean might be going out of his mind right now really worries Sam, but after what he saw and heard his heart and brain couldn't take it anymore. He tried to do everything they wanted him to do—guess he's not a good son and not a good brother. Maybe they will be better off without him; they can both hunt together then and Dean can go out whenever he wants which he seems to want to do more often now (for someone whose supposed to be so smart, Sam can be really dumb. Dean wants them to hunt together—the three of them and he doesn't want to go out every night—like Sam thinks he does. Girls are too big a headache and just a release for Dean, but Sam romantises everything—Sam involves love where Dean doesn't).

John and Dean have been scouring the countryside looking for little Sammy and not having much luck. He's not using a card so there is no trail to follow. Dean doesn't know which direction Sam took; he believes that Sam might have attempted to leave the state and that thought horrifies him (Sam out there alone with no one to take care of him and all the fugly creeps that would take advantage of him) they have got to find the little pain in the ass before Dean's brain explodes. Dad, on the other hand, seems impressed by Sam's efforts to stay off the grid—it shows him that Sam was soaking up everything that he was teaching him. Even if John is a little worried about how his relationship with his youngest will be now, he doesn't show it—he just does his best to keep Dean calm and moving in some sort of direction. It is about two weeks in when they get their first real lead on Sam's whereabouts. Pastor Jim calls John and tells him that he received a phone call from a mutual friend (Missouri Mosley) who told him to "tell that fool, Winchester, that his boy is in Flagstaff and he better watch out how he handles this or she will whack him with her spoon! That boy is so hurt by the things that his so-called father and that delinquent brother of his did to him—even if it all is one big misunderstanding—the boy might not ever want to come home again." John doesn't tell Dean right away that he knows where Sam is because he knows that Sam is safe and because he wants to see what else the boy can do on his own.

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	4. Chapter 4

Week three: Sam has been staying in a motel room free of charge for just about two and a half weeks now. He lucked into it on day three of his adventure. When he and Bones had been looking for a place to stay they had walked through a park. There was some kind of commotion up ahead of them and Bones started to growl, "What is it boy?" Sam whispered. Sam heard a scream and the other noise he would recognize anywhere—BULLIES! Sam steeled himself and marched to where the ruckus was coming from; what he saw made his neck hairs stand on end and his nostrils flare—Sam Winchester was angry! There in the midst of about three older boys stood a little girl and an even smaller boy; the little girl was trying to protect the smaller child, no doubt her little brother and something inside of Sam Winchester snapped, "Hey Asshats! Leave them alone!" (Where did that come from? That was out loud)

"What do you want, shrimp?" one of the older boys shouted out "And who are you calling Asshats?" "You evidentially since you answered" Sam wisecracked and smirked. (Am I channeling my big brother?) "You want a piece of me, you little shit?" the clown who was acting leader of this pack of morons said. "No, I want all of you, creep" Sam sniped and that must have been like waving a red cloth in front of a bull because they all came at him! Sam backed into a fighting stance while they circled him like wolves after a rabbit. (Let your enemy come to you—repeated in his head like a mantra, strangely in Dean's voice)

The first one struck out at Sam and his hit connected, but Sam didn't let it faze him and he countered with one of his own, hitting the guy square in the gut—winding him. One asshole down, two to go! The next two tried to tag team him—Sam maybe short, but turns out—he has a powerful roundhouse kick and he took their feet out from under them and they toppled like a house of cards. Sam immediately went to them one by one and hit them in nose bloodying both of them. (There was Dean's voice again—don't stop until they are immobile) It all happened so fast, Sam looked around and they were all on the ground writhing.

Sam walked up to the girl and little boy, "Are you two alright?" he asked. The girl said "thanks to you" and the little boy peeked out from behind her in something that looked like awe and nodded at him. They hurried out of the park and toward their father's place of business. (A motel) Once safely in sight of it, the two introduced themselves. "My name is Tabitha and this is my little brother Shane. Thanks for what you did back there; those guys are always causing trouble." "You're welcome and it was nothing. I hate bullies. I'm Sam, by the way" Sam replies. "Are you like a ninja or something?" Shane asks clearly in awe of Sam and his abilities. With a dimpled grin, Sam shrugs "Something like that." The two kids sneak him into one of the rooms on the backside of the building and Sam has been there ever since. Living off of Funguns and Mr. Pibb and cold pizza that the two kids snuck to him.

John and Dean show up on Saturday of the third week. John goes to talk to the owner of the motel and ask if he has seen Sam while Dean walks up to two kids he sees playing in the parking lot and does the same, "Hey, have you guys seen a kid around here who looks like this?" he asks and shows them a picture of Sam. "Is he in trouble?" they both ask. Dean sensing that they know his little brother softens his voice and tries to give them his own version of puppy eyes, "No, he's my little brother and I've been trying to find him. He has been missing for three weeks" "You're Dean?" the little boy asks in amazement and Dean chuckles—Sammy has been talking about him and from the looks of things in a good way.

"Yes, I am. Can you take me to Sammy?" "Sammy? That is so cute—he totally looks like a Sammy. Follow us" the girl offers up—clearly Sam has laid down some mojo here Dean thinks as he follows the kids around to the back of the motel. He knocks on the door (if the kids had not been present he would have kicked it down) and it opens revealing Sam, "DEAN!" is the only warning he gets before he finds himself with an armful of little brother. "You were looking for me" Sam sobs and Dean's heart breaks as John too comes around the building, hearing his sons talking. "Of course I came looking for you. You're my pain in the ass little brother and I—I love you, bitch." "I love you too, Jerk" Sam sniffles. Spying his dad over Dean's shoulder, Sam squeaks out "Dad, you came too?" This is just too much for John Winchester to bare—his son actually thinks that he doesn't want him around, Dean was right—he has gone too far, "Ah Sammy, come here son" John pulls him to his chest and gives his son a hug—something he doesn't do that much anymore, so he pulls Dean into the hug as well. "I love you Sammy and I love Dean, too. I guess I just get so wrapped up in this drill Sargent stuff that I forget how to be a dad. I promise that I am going to do better by you boys" John states.

The misunderstandings are worked out and when Dean and John find out the particulars of Sam's little adventure, they are both amazed and take notice of the fact that Sam is carrying himself differently now—he walks taller than he used to, with more confidence. He proved to himself that he can do the job and that is all that John was after in the first place.

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